190619 #100Days

Day 41. Tomorrow is a public holiday!


Another one of those days where I have to wait for others to finish their shit before I can start my part. I finally got Avid‘s background rendering to work! It basically means I don‘t have to stare at a render bar for two hours a day but can just keep on working. So that‘s great.


So. Yesterdays date. I think it was another one of those dates where we had a good and calm conversation and also the only conversation we‘ll ever have in our life. She‘s 10+ years older and really wants to move back to the countryside. I‘m very much a city person. Other than that she‘s pretty great. I liked her.
I feel like I'm still pretty bad at having a normal conversation. Especially being interested in the other person, asking questions, that sort of thing. You know, the getting to know part. It's just really hard for me to come up with any good or suitable questions on the fly. Even if I though of certain questions or topics, I tend to forget them or never get to them once I'm sitting in front of the person. Well. Maybe the latter is actually a good sign. Like, at least it means we always had something to talk about.
Either way. She hasn't invited me back on another date. So I'm pretty sure there's not going to be another. Would I meet her again? Sure. Why not. Why didn't I ask her out again then? Because literally every time I've done that, the answer has been a polite no. So after the last "no" I decided that maybe this is the secret rule? Because in contrast, everyone I've been on at least a second date with, told me she wanted to meet again at the end of the first one. If you're reading this and think I'm wrong, please tell me I'm wrong.

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